Lights of Hope

My trip to Thailand was months ago, yet I have not been able to stop thinking about it. I know it’s not good to keep focusing on the past (life happens in the now and I don’t want to miss out on any of it), but so many special moments happened while I was in Thailand that I’m not ready to completely move forward yet. Maybe I’m still in the “wow, did this really happen?” stage. I’m not sure…but what I am sure about is that I feel an immense sense of gratitude…for the light and for the love.

Below you’ll see a bit of what our family came across while in Bangkok. Very unexpectedly, the first sign of light came at night (we saw this on our first night down the block from our hotel).  Seeing this literal sign of hope made me wonder about what was to come during our days in Bangkok.


Above this sign, the full moon shone brightly…as if to say “everything will be okay”.  I felt that heaven was smiling down on me, comforting me.


The next day I woke up to a soft morning light. There was a whisper of hope in the air.  This hug from the sky gave me a feeling that being in Bangkok was going to be wonderful…


…and it was, it was even better than wonderful.  The reason being that during our time in Bangkok, I saw my biological father every day.  Every night we had dinner together and during these dinners he told me stories from the past (details of what I was like as a baby/toddler as well as details about our close relationship when I was young).  My father also told me his account of what had happened regarding my adoption, which turns out was a tough situation for everyone.  As my father talked, I looked into his eyes and I listened to everything.  He was speaking from the heart and my heart was ready.  After forty-something years our timing finally met.  And yes, I could be bitter about this (the time that we lost living separate lives), but somehow I’m not.  Instead, I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude…to be given this incredible opportunity to get to know my father as well as my other Thai relatives.  I can feel the love coming from their direction and it all feels like a dream…a dream that I did not expect nor ever thought was possible.  After all these years, the love has survived…isn’t that amazing?!

On our last day in Bangkok (prior to going to Chiang Mai to see my biological mother) the light came into Brook’s room…and in the form of a rainbow.


What a magical sight this was…we were delighted beyond belief!   This rainbow seemed like another sign…that all was going to be well during our next stop in Chiang Mai…which turned out to be true.  I’ve shared some details in a previous post.

Whether you look for the light or not, it is always there.  Sometimes it comes with meaning (such as when I needed some encouragement) and sometimes it’s just there…every day, warming us, comforting us…and always lighting our way.


At the close of every day I always feel a sense of hope…that another day is coming.  Another day, another chance…to live and enjoy, to be grateful, to give and to love.  And all we have to do is to open up our eyes…to the beauty of it all.










11 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. laura H

    So happy for you to experience the love, hope, gratitude, and family knowledge. Glad everything came together. I think it’s good to reflect, no time limit on it. This was a major turn in your life, and your families. Take time and when you’re ready, move on if you have to. I don’t think you have to put this behind you, it’s alright if it travels with you.
    Have a good week. Quilting right now, making Christmas presents.

    October 6th, 2014

  2. Becky Shander

    Thanks for sharing your good points with me Laura. And I’ve taken them to heart.

    October 7th, 2014

  3. Beautiful post, Becky. I always enjoy your stories. Thank you for sharing!

    October 6th, 2014

  4. Becky Shander

    And thank you for the encouraging words Kelly!

    October 7th, 2014

  5. Patti Burchwell

    Not ready to move on yet just shows that you are still basking in the miracle of this sweet reunion. What a comfort to just wrap yourself up in the wonder of it all, like a warm hug! Thank you for sharing this heartwarming story. God bless you!

    October 7th, 2014

  6. Ann Marie

    That’s what I love about you most … you find beauty and signs in places nobody else would take the time to look.

    October 7th, 2014

  7. Linda K

    You are reflecting the immense joy in your heart having the opportunity to have such a dream come true dear Becky. I don’t consider that focusing on the past, but instead, relishing all that love and peace that fills your heart. May it always bring you light. Thank you for sharing.

    October 8th, 2014

  8. Becky Shander

    Yes, I think you’re right ladies, about me relishing in the joy…so I suppose it’s a good thing. Thank you very much for sharing your positive perspective.

    October 8th, 2014

  9. This post is so poignant and beautiful. Your photos are magical catching just the right lights that blessed you on your trip. Your love of family and life is so precious. Delight in the Light my Dear…

    October 8th, 2014

  10. Jani Howe

    What beautiful photos, Becky, that rainbow one just made the hair on my arms stand up. I’m so very glad you had that time with both parents, and especially your Father. You had the kind of meeting I always wished I could have had with my Mother, who passed away when I was just 9. It took me years to be at peace with it. Neither side of my family would ever talk much about my mother, except to say she was quite talented in many areas, which is a happy thought in my heart. That toy fir that lovely story and peek into your live.

    October 8th, 2014

  11. Sometimes we need some time to think about the past before we can go on – just always looking forward may lead to a point some day, but I´m sure it´s not the right one. To find this, you have to keep track of the past and learn from it. I´m so happy for you that you´ve found so much joy in your old home country!

    October 12th, 2014

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