I think that by now most of you have noticed that I frequently like to use positive words and imagery in my artwork. This habit has come about honestly, through experiencing many years of life’s not-so-perfect moments. One of my more challenging moments happens roughly once a year. It is during this time that I feel most fearful or confused, yet simultaneously grateful beyond measure.
Every year when I visit my endocrinologist (or when I go in for MRI scans) I’m issued a temporary bracelet during registration. These check-ups relate to a benign brain tumor that I’ve known about and have been dealing with since my teen years. Having lived with this condition for so many years I’ve slowly grown accustomed to it, and it has become a part of normal everyday life for me. And thankfully, my everyday life is good. One of the main reasons why I’m doing well is because I’ve been receiving regular treatment (taking medication and showing up for annual check-ups.) And for many years now, everything has remained pretty much under control.
The reason why I’m bringing up my medical history is because I’d like to share a little more about where I’m coming from…why I like to think positively and how this perspective ends up in my artwork.
Living with my not-so-sunny medical condition has taught me the importance of looking harder through the cloudy skies to find sunshine. And after many years of practicing this skill, I’ve noticed that there are bright spots everywhere – there is a good side to every situation and it’s all about how you choose to look at it.
Life is full of many wonderful things, from the tiniest grain of goodness in simple things like hot buttered toast, to bigger and more meaningful things, such as how lucky I am to have a happy home which I share with my loving family. Bill and Brook bring me so much joy that I frequently walk around feeling like my heart is about to burst from all the happiness that I carry around inside. It’s impossible for me to contain this kind of happiness, which would explain why Bill and Brook are often the inspiration behind many of my art projects.
Before Bill and Brook entered my life my situation was completely the opposite. I felt lost and alone (I had started living on my own since my mid-teens) and I was a MESS. And it was roughly around that same time that I found out about my brain tumor, which felt devastaing to try and deal with both emotionally and financially. Back then I didn’t have any financial support so going to see a doctor was not possible. And I also didn’t have any money for medication, giving me no choice but to try and mentally block out the whole tumor situation. In order to survive I had to pretend that I didn’t have this condition, which was actually really hard to do when there were several strange hormonal side effects to deal with. After many years of struggling (when I had practically nothing, including my health) I managed to land on my feet, thanks to a few kind people who helped me out… it’s very scary to think about where I might’ve ended up if it wasn’t for them. Anyway, fast forward to now…my life is completely the opposite from where it was during my teens and twenties. Thankfully, I’m in a position to be able to afford medical care and for this one giant blessing alone, I feel truly and immensely grateful.
This feeling of gratefulness affects the way I see everything. For instance, below is a bracelet that I’ve been wearing for several years. I love its message, and wearing it reminds me of where I’ve come from…in a good way. With one quick glance at this bracelet I am able to zoom in on how important it is to embrace all that life has to offer. I am reminded that time in this world is precious, and I don’t want to waste any of it by allowing any opportunities to slip by. Wearing this bracelet also gives me the courage to go for the gusto, but at the same time I know that I should choose wisely since it’s important to try and keep my priorities in the right order. Priorities like spending time with family and friends, spreading good messages through kindess or making art…these all belong on the top of my list. Finding a balance and keeping it is key. And remembering to see the glass as half full helps too!
Thank you for listening…thank you for making me feel that it’s okay to share this deeper side…thank you for being a part of my journey.
32 Comments, Comment or Ping
Becky, Thank YOU for sharing this with us. It’s only through the baring of our inner selves – our thoughts, dreams and yes,even nightmares – that we give others the ability to BE human BEings. The one thing that makes us different from plants and animals is our ability to have feelings for each other. To love, hurt, laugh, feel compassion, even be angry. While I can’t imagine what it is like to live with such a condition, I feel immense compassion for you and admire your strength and courage. And I thank God for the gift of Bill and Brook in your life and what they mean to you. But also, they are also so fortunate to have YOU!!
Love,
Lisa
September 26th, 2010
Becky – I am so glad you shared this with your friends here. We would not truly be friends if we didn’t share the good and the bad. Your words are inspiring. We all take for granted the goodness and blessings in our life at times. I can think of moments after something extremely challenging or tragic has happened when it seems like all your senses are suddenly awakened…and you appreciate the little things so much that you are overwhelmed with gratitude. For now on, when I see your art, it will put me in that moment. I will know it was made by an artist who’s senses are fully awakened and is living in the moment and very thankful for every little grain of goodness. I love that perspective and it makes your art and you even more beautiful. Here’s to 20 more years of good health and the blessings of a loving family and good health care options. Take care.
Vicki
September 26th, 2010
Lisa, Vicki, thank you both very much for your support. I’ve been feeling VERY nervous and worried that maybe sharing this other part of me might make you feel uncomfortable. Thank you for understanding…it means so much to me.
September 26th, 2010
dear becky. your art means so much to so many people and me. it is even more meaningful and more special to know you as you share this story of strength and courage. you are lovely. please know that from a distance, you are loved.
September 26th, 2010
Thank you for sharing Becky, I had no idea that you’ve been dealing with health issues. The choice you’ve made to look for the good in life and be thankful has surely been a strength to your spirit. I heard a lecture recently about how trying to prevent ourselves from being vulnerable we can also block out all the joy life has to offer. I alway love popping over to your blog. You and your beautiful art are a light to others.
Much Love to your and your precious little family!
Jenny
September 26th, 2010
becky .. I have not been visiting you for long but must say this was a touching story with a VERY happy ending…your bracelet says it all..thank you for sharing this story of triumph ..
September 26th, 2010
Thank you for sharing your story here and for reminding us that in every dark thing we face in our lives there is always a bright spot no matter how tiny it may be at the time. I love the lightness of all of your art work, and how they always make me smile. Thank you for focusing on the positive and reminding me to do the same! You are always on my my heart!
September 26th, 2010
Dear Becky,
How scary your journey was until you found people who helped you!
Our thoughts can enable or disable us. Being positive in the face of so much adversity shows, how strong your spirit is. We all have clouds, that shadow our existence, you are proof, what positive thoughts can do to one’s soul! It takes courage, your mindset and your heart’s desire to create our desired lives. You are crafting Your best life ,by allowing your mind’s eye to see the beauty in the ordinary and not to allow the dark clouds to block your view. Your sunny disposition has allowed you to live an authentic life~
I hope sharing your journey, releases you and allows your spirit to feel
the warm embrace of friends, who see the vision and light in your soul’s work~xXx
September 26th, 2010
Thank you all for the good energy – this warmth feels wonderful…thank you.
September 26th, 2010
Becky, your post touched deep. “Live life with abandon” speaks to me and your touching story of your health problems had me stop and ponder.
Thank you for being here in the blog world. YOU touch people every day with your art and your blog. I wish for you a happy, soulful journey in this life.
September 26th, 2010
Becky, you are an inspiration. Your positiveness has always felt genuine, and now I know how hard won it is for you. Thank you for the reminder about the good things in life.
September 26th, 2010
Becky, thank you so much for sharing this. You are such an inspiration and I have always been able to see the genuineness behind your positive outlook. It is wonderful to know what has brought you to that beautiful life walk.
September 27th, 2010
Beautiful Becky,
You are such an INSPIRATION. Thank YOU for sharing this with us, for letting us in a little bit more.
You speak to us through your amazing creations…
and your radiating soul full of positivity and goodness shines through in all that you do.
I am so happy for those beauties who helped you in your time of need and for Bill and Brook. I am so happy to know you!
thank you for YOU!!
xoxoxoxo
k
ps. i just read a WONDERFULL book called “The Noticer” by Andy Andrews. It is all about that lovely word called perspective!!! i think you might like it!!
smooch!
September 27th, 2010
my friend,
the moment i stumbled on to this place of yours, i felt like i was home.
you are so inspiring
and
brave.
thank you for sharing.
i adore your bracelet. ; )
xo
September 27th, 2010
Becky,
Thank you for sharing. I think that lifes difificulties teach us and mold us and make us who we are. I can share your trepidations about baring your inner secrets, but isnt it freeing when people accept you for who you are and you do not have to hide your thoughts and feelings. I have recently discovered that and it is empowering. Your art inspires me and you are truly a gift.
Hugs,
Ivy
p.s. I have a similiar bracelet that reads “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
September 27th, 2010
Ivy, I’m so excited for you…I hope that you’ll continue to share yourself openly. And you’re right, it feels good to bare our inner secrets (it’s very scary at first, but well worth the struggle.)
September 28th, 2010
You have taken my breath away and tears are rolling down my face. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing such an huge and private part of your life. Looking at the glass half full is very much a part of how I live my life… nearly 14 years ago, my then husband informed me that he was leaving, he did not want to be married to me anymore. It was also the same day that I found out that I was pregnant. The next few years were harder than I could ever explain but through it all I wanted to stay positive and from the very beginning I decided that life as a single parent would be a positive one. Well 14 years later I am married, have another child and could not be happier. That simple decision to live a positive life has made all the difference for me and I thank you for reminding me of what an amazing journey we have been fortunate to be on.
love me 🙂
September 28th, 2010
Tracey, thank you for sharing your personal story…I’m SO happy to know that you are doing well and that you’ve found happiness after all that you’ve been through. Your strength is inspiring!
September 28th, 2010
dear dear becky…
i would just like to echo all that these lovely ladies have written about you.
you are so BRAVE. as i am getting ready to go to BRAVE GIRLS CAMP next week, i have been thinking about all the brave women that surround me and how, by sharing our stories with one another, we lift others and in turn, help them be brave.
YOU DO THAT BECKY!
you lift and inspire with your brave words and beautiful art.
thank you so much. for it is quite obvious how many souls you are touching.
so happy you are okay!
lots of love,
chrissy
September 28th, 2010
Oh Becky! I have been meaning to come and thank you for your kind words and good thoughts for my father. I’m sorry it has taken me a few weeks but so glad that I returned to see this post.
I have sensed from the start that you are a person of depth and grace but I think I also sensed a struggle, a sadness. I am so very sorry to hear about your medical challenges, how very frightening for you. You are a very sweet and dear soul and I am so glad that you have your dear Bill and Brook.
Please know that I am thinking of you,
Sally
September 28th, 2010
Becky,
Thank you so much for sharing from your heart. I truly think that this is one of the things that makes you who you are. I knew from the moment I was on your blog that you had something unique about you that ran deeper than most people. I have also sensed your deep love and gratefulness when you talk of your friends and family.
I pray that things go well with your next visit and for many visits after that. I can only imagine how it must feel to deal with this every year.
I live with chronic pain. Sometimes it makes me crabby and hard to live around but I also think it helps me understand the hardships of others. Twelve years ago, I never imagined myself saying this, but I do believe that it has helped me feel more in tune with the sadness and pain of others and helped me appreciate love and joy when it comes. I do feel that with each sorrow we experience, there is a gift. We just need to be in a place to accept it.
I send you my caring and my deepest wishes for continued good management of your tumor.
xo,
Suz
September 28th, 2010
Becky, I love your work and your attitude! I’m a breast cancer survivor and a survivor of other life traumas, losses of loved ones, etc….
Good for you!
Hugs and continued peace and happiness to you,
Diane
September 29th, 2010
Hi: Thank you for allowing us to get to know you better. You said it so well in that balance is the key! Go for the gusto!
September 30th, 2010
I am so glad I popped over here to meet you after seeing your “little birdie” on the Brave Girls Club message. You are the sweetest thing. Wow, you have certainly inspired me to remember to look for the sunshine through the clouds. I am so glad you shared your story with us. Being real and sharing from the heart is what really reaches out and helps others and you are certainly doing that. your heart is all over your site here. Thank you!
I also adore all of your creations and your creative style. It is so special just like YOU.
Keep living your life with that wonderful abandon~
Lee Ann
October 1st, 2010
& MORE positivity
still ~
i saw your birdie
on brave girls!!
looooooove
to your
wings!
xo
October 1st, 2010
Thanks Rachel…and I took your tip, that’s how my little birdie ended up over at Brave girls.
October 1st, 2010
Thanks for sharing – I just happened upon your blog from Jenny Doh’s and admiring your artwork. Now I’m admiring your honesty, heart and joy over hardship and pain.
I also noticed your birthday is just a couple days after mine (and in the same year but don’t tell anyone)! 🙂
October 1st, 2010
Becky,
It is nice of you to share such a personal story. Each year brings me more wisdom of how to live each day and not worry about all the small things that used to bother me in my younger days! Thanks for all your encouraging comments to my blog as well.
Best, Loribeth
October 3rd, 2010
Becky it means a great deal to all of us that you are willing to share this part of yourself. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, you are a true source of inspiration!! I feel things happen for a purpose… You were meant to be doing exactly what you are doing, and you deserve every joy that life now brings you.
October 6th, 2010
Wow Becky,
I’ve always been a huge fan of yours as I look forward to seeing you in each Stampington magazine I can get my hands on. I never had the nerve to leave a comment here but after reading this post, I feel I must tell you that you bring such a joy to our lives in everything you create, write and share with us. I think I can speak for everyone who visits here. As for me, I love your soul and you are such a huge inspiration to me :))))
I’m so grateful that you share yourself with us!!
October 10th, 2010
Such an inspiring post! Thanks for sharing a piece of you with us! You are filled with courage and love and I see that in all that you create. Blessings to you sweetie 🙂
October 13th, 2010
Hi Becky,
I just stumbled upon your blog (domino linking). I also have a benign tumor. It also has hormonal effects (preventing the possibility of pregnancy) as it is pressing on the pituitary gland. Unlike you, I had great insurance and was able to have surgery. They weren’t able to get it all without risking damage to my brain. But, they got enough so that I was able to get pregnant. At 35, I had an amazing son (although he’s a little bit trying right now since he’s in middle school). So many times I am disappointed that I wasn’t able to have more children. I always thought I’d have several. But, you have reminded me to focus on the positive. At least I was able to have one child!! One of my dearest friends (who was the perfect girl with a charmed life) wasn’t ever able to have children, something she wanted more than anything. Who’s the lucky one? Thanks for the attitude adjustment!
November 17th, 2010
Reply to “Annual Bracelet”